The abortion debate is tired. Most have heard the arguments countless times, and it has become such a political hot button that few people really approach the conversation with love and respect for those with whom they engage. We seem to forget we are talking to people about people. I’d like to take a step back and directly speak to those who are in this debate; to speak to people, rather than groups, political parties, or ideas. It’s no secret what I believe on the subject, but I want to be very clear that my intentions in writing on these topics are from a place of deep passion regarding the defense of the weak (which includes both child and the mothers in desperate circumstance), and why I think it’s worth the discussion. Maybe if we can remember the faces of who we are speaking of and to, new life can be breathed into an old conversation.
To you who have had an abortion and have already felt the remorse and have repented to our God,
Rejoice! You are forgiven, completely. Don’t allow guilt to revisit you, you have none, Christ has taken it in his nail pierced hands, and handed you back his perfection. I know there is a voice that creeps in on the anniversary, it tries to tell you that your sin is worse than any other, that maybe you have to do more to make up for it, or you deserve the weight of your guilt. I beg of you, don’t heed that voice, you’r sins, like my sins, have been completely forgiven, you are free. Please forgive Christians who forget what God’s grace means and treat you as though you have done something worse than them. Please love them enough to remind them what grace is: a debt we cannot pay, paid for us; a gift we cannot earn nor diminish. An abortion forgiven by God, is the same as any other sin forgiven, it’s simply forgiven. Be courageous in his grace, and come alongside others who feel the guilt but have not yet reconciled with their Creator God. Please, don’t be silent, your voice above all can heal and help prevent others from believing the lie that once ensnared you.
To those of you who have had an abortion and remorse isn’t even on your radar,
I am praying for you. Not just for repentance and healing from the pain caused by your choice (which I am aware you may not even recognize), but that whatever pain and circumstance brought you to that decision in the first place would be healed. I pray that you would find repentance and the subsequent peace and grace that follows, that you would turn to the loving God who created you and find fulfillment in him and freedom from your past, just as every person who turns to Christ does. I know, you may not feel remorse now, and you may even feel anger toward my words, but my heart is that you would see that like me (and every other Christian), when you come to Christ, no matter what you have done in the past you can be made whole, and new in him.
To fathers who do not recognize themselves as such,
You may have been distant as the mother of your child killed your child, you may have been the voice that tipped the scales for her decision, you may have even paid or held her hand in the process; all to assuage your guilt (or perhaps to simply continue the lifestyle you have come to love), and you may have thought that in that moment you were done with all this. You aren’t. You are part of this. A much bigger part then you and culture would like to believe. You are not mere spectators, you are fathers, even if you have frantically tried to rid yourself of that title. It is easy to hide behind the excuse perpetuated by nearly everyone that it is her body, her choice; but that tiny person is half you; and half the responsibility belongs to you. I know what culture says, but the truth is, your sexual encounters have many consequences and if a child is one of them you have a responsibility to them, you also have a responsibility to the mother of your child. And if you claim anything like “love” then act accordingly. The guilt she feels is not her’s alone, it belongs to you as well; and just as she can find freedom from that guilt through Christ, so can you. Own up to your actions, and find peace and freedom in such.
Perhaps you have already done so, and you grieve the loss of your child at your hand. Take courage, you are forgiven. Please lend your voice to the conversation, more men (and women) need to hear from men like you.
You are the men who have limited or no experience with abortion, please do not be silent. Please, do not allow your sisters to be ensnared by the lies of sexual freedom and abortion. Speak the truth with love and grace. Take responsibility in your own relationships and encourage the men around you to do so as well.
To you who defend abortion,
Please, stop. I know you come from a place of good intentions, and you feel as though you are defending women, but you are deeply mistaken, and your words and voting powers have a devastating effect. Abortion enslaves women, it promises a desperate woman freedom, but it only brings pain and deep suffering. Please, continue to defend women, but defend them in a way that can set them free from those things that led them to desperation. Don’t offer salt water to someone dying of thirst; instead share with them living water; help them find the refreshing freedom of being washed clean by Christ.