There is a rather unfortunate phrase regarding the 7th year of marriage, it is known as the “7 Year Itch; it is the theorized point where the “honeymoon phase” has worn off at which point husband or wife become dissatisfied and their happiness within marriage supposedly begins to decline, often resulting in one or both parties looking for satisfaction elsewhere. It is referred to lightheartedly, yet it is tragic and it belies the true nature of love and marriage. Love is not something that we fall in and out of, but rather something we choose each morning–including those that follow a heated fight and cold shoulder– it’s a choice not just in the passionate and warm moments, but in the angry, dissatisfied and often painful moments. Marriage is the commitment to that kind of love, that runs channels through our lives and chooses the Other whatever the cost. It is this kind of love that reflects a God who, by his love, allowed his hands to be carved with nails, so that we, in our worst state, could be united to him.

Today my husband and I reached our 7-year mark, and by God’s grace there is no itch, but  a deepened friendship, and a completely new understanding of how God loves us, as we choose to love one another each day anew. Here’s to 7 years, and how ever many more the Framer of the Universe gives us.

There was a moment
(it seems like ages ago)
When what I knew of love
Eased into something slow.

Like a steady river
Carving mountain cave
It moved faithful
As something you gave

A choice made again
(and again) in pain,
In joy, in weakness,
But always with pride slain.

You offered a ring
A tiny token of a promise
Not of perfection nor ease
But of you that blustery August

And time unfolded
Miles travelled, years gained
Babes on my hips, hearts
Full, rapid, and drained.

And each second a treasure
With tears, laughs, and sighs
Where love carves us deeply
As crows mark our eyes.

Here our hearts beat a harmony
Hands join and extend,
We’ll spend our last breaths
In words our Framer penned.